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[rosebyanyother]

"Morrigan Prince. I'm afraid I'm too busy to answer at the moment, but leave a message and I promise to respond as soon as I'm able."

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jonathan sims #1

[rosebyanyother]

(from here)

It's the first time I've had feelings for two people at once as well.

I don't want to do anything that comes between you and Martin.
If you think he'd be jealous then nothing has to change.

I would rather be a little lonely than lose you as a friend.

[compellingstatement]

After seeing what Martin went through with the Lonely, what I've been through, lonely is really the last thing I want you to be, Morrigan.
Even just a little.

God this feels so complicated.
There are things I feel more comfortable about with you than Martin and I don't know what that means.
Maybe because you're not from our world?
There's not that history?

Like the damn cat thing.
I know he'd indulge me, but it felt easy telling you I'd play with you that way.
I guess because you work at the Naughty Persian?

And I think I liked what happened during the ritual.

[And he keeps typing again, his embarrassment growing as he tries to stop and can't.]

It's not something I'd want to do daily, or anything.
But I liked...
I think I liked making you happy the most?
It felt good to be able to just make someone else feel good.
And I don't know what really happened, but everything sort of narrowed down to you.
Everything inside my head got quieter.
All the fear from everyone around, all the horror in their lives.
It wasn't gone, but with you like that, it was just quieter for a little while.
It was... nice.
And I was curious about all your reactions and what would happen next.
The only other person that's really happened with is Martin.
I thought he'd be the only one I'd want to try things with when it wasn't being forced on us.
But I think if you wanted it and Martin was okay with it, I'd want that.
Maybe to count as part of my quota, too.

Or we could just spend time together, too.
I like talking to you.

[rosebyanyother]

Being lonely isn't new for me.

I think you might be right, that it could be easier because there's less history.
Less expectations. We don't know each other as well, either.
Perhaps you care a little less what I think of you, too.

But I'm glad you can trust me like that. I'm glad I could help you. I want to keep doing that. I enjoyed letting you experiment. For a number of reasons.
I would like to continue to be a part of that but only if it's acceptable to everyone involved. You should talk to Martin.

And if we're only just friends that will be fine too.
I'll get over it. I like spending time with you either way.

[compellingstatement]

I'll talk to him.
I suppose the other question is would you be all right with it?
I love him, Morrigan.
I could never leave him.
Whatever happened between us, I couldn't leave him.
Do you know him at all?
Would you want to?

[rosebyanyother]

I've met him before and we've talked briefly.
In fact, he patched me up that time I took shelter in your archives during the clash between the Creator and Nissan.
I wouldn't mind getting to know him better. He seems very kind.

And I don't expect you to leave him.
The truth is, I'm in love with someone else as well.
He isn't here, not right now, but that doesn't change anything for me. I think it would take me much longer than a year and a half to fall out of love with him.
And even if I did fall in love with you, I can't imagine it changing the way I feel about him either.

[compellingstatement]

[That's right. Jon's memory of the war is fairly overwhelmed by Martin dying during it. Well, and the car chase and explosion with Cullen.]

Oh... that's good?
I mean, it's all complicated, but I'm glad you have someone else.
Maybe he'll turn up here?

[Maybe. Jon's not sure how he'd navigate that, but if he can keep his jealousy in check where Crowley is concerned, someone Peter loves from his own world shouldn't be hard. It's not like with Martin. They haven't been through... years of hell together to cinch them together so tightly.]

I'll talk to Martin and get back to you.
I'm not entirely sure how it's going to go, but... I'm glad you told me this.
I probably never would have said anything.
I mean, apart from when this place makes us say things.
Take care, Morrigan.

[rosebyanyother]

It's a bit painful, loving him from afar.
[Why did you have to phrase that as a question, Jon... Right on the heels of that answer:]
Please ignore that.

I'm glad I told you too. I hadn't planned on saying anything either.
I'll talk to you later.

a day later

[compellingstatement]

[This is a surprisingly fast turnaround time, but... those bannies are ruthless in forcing uncomfortable conversations.]

Martin and I talked.
He said he wants me to try with you.
Just see where things go.

Do you want to meet to talk about this?

[rosebyanyother]

Yes, I think that's probably a good idea.

Should I stop by the archives? Or would you prefer somewhere else?

[He is not nervous, he tells himself, despite the fluttering and unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach.]

[compellingstatement]

[A chance for Peter to use his shiny new keycard. Jon swallows, wondering if that's the best idea with Elias lurking above. Then again, it doesn't really matter where he is. Elias will always be lurking. And with any luck, this isn't his particular brand of melodrama to tune into.]

Yes, I think that would work best.
There are things I need to tell you.
Best to do it with some privacy.

[rosebyanyother]

We'll do that, then.
Are you free now, or is there a better time?

[Part of him wants to stall this, another part of him wants to hear...whatever it is that Jon feels like he needs to be told.

And he's free just now anyway.]

[compellingstatement]

Now.
Let's--[get it over with]--meet now.
I've got vodka at my office.

[This is potentially a three-finger sort of conversation. Maybe loosening up a bit before Peter gets here will help?]

text -> action

[rosebyanyother]

I'll be over soon, then.

[Peter is now even less sure about how ready he is to hear what Jon wants to tell him, if he thinks alcohol is necessary. But he said he would come. So he will.

It takes him a little bit, if only because he decides to change. When he'd gone to meet Magnus at a point when he was feeling vulnerable, he'd dressed to the nines and beyond. He'd armored himself with clothes, makeup, and jewelry. To meet Jon... Well. He's trying. And so he does the opposite.

Peter uses his keycard to get into the Archives and then pauses once he's inside to call out.]

Jon?

[What Jon will see, when he comes looking, is that Peter is...remarkably dressed down. He doesn't forgo an earring but it's the only particularly flashy thing about him. He is relatively fresh-faced (perhaps just a bit of eyeliner) and all he's wearing are black slacks and an unadorned, modestly colored button-up.]

[compellingstatement]

[Jon gets started on the drinking while Peter takes his time getting there. Maybe tea would be better. Maybe drinking is a bad idea for this. He hasn't been knocking them back, just sipping, but he hasn't eaten much today, so it goes to his head fairly immediately. It's why he's loosened the collar of his shirt by a few buttons and is looking more relaxed (and flushed) that he might otherwise do when he steps into the doorway of his office at the back of the Archives.]

Yes, down here.

[He'll beckon Peter to him. At least the place should be familiar after his brief stay during the war. There are more file boxes than previously, and Jon's office has clearly been renovated, but beyond that, there's not a great deal of difference. Jon offers the other man a nervous smile, starts to reach out for... something, but pulls back.]

Thank you for coming. I, uh... let's sit down.

[A motion to the desk. It's got stacks of files sitting on it in various stages of labeling.]

There are a few things you should know before we... if we... I just don't want you getting into anything you aren't expecting.

[rosebyanyother]

[Well, isn't that an interesting picture that Jon paints. Peter takes in his slightly flushed appearance as he gets closer but he doesn't say anything about it. He does offer him a smile in return though...and his eyes track that aborted gesture.

Sitting down in a chair in front of the desk, Peter crosses one leg on top of the other and looks at Jon curiously. He manages conceal everything other than curiosity.]

I appreciate that.

[compellingstatement]

[Jon pauses on that to pour vodka into a second glass and push it across the desk to Peter. Once that's done, he tries to think of where to start. He's had time to plan this out--sort of--but it still doesn't feel like nearly enough.]

We're being watched.

[Let's start there.]

Beyond LIEs, I mean. And beyond my... patron. The Ceaseless Watcher is always watching me and watching through me, but it's not... I mean, it's an eldritch monster. It has no idea what it's seeing most of the time. At least that's my theory. I've thought about... I'm getting off track.

[And as attractive as that is, he needs to stay focused.]

There is another avatar of the Beholding here. The one I mentioned to you a few months ago. [He licks his lips and sips at his own vodka.] Elias Bouchard, Head of the Magnus Institute. He's here. He's... probably in the building at the moment. I, uh... I made a mistake. A rather serious mistake when Martin vanished. I was- I signed a contract with Elias without properly reading it and he's basically taken over as my boss again. I've tried to fire him, but he's put me off with... blackmail, threats, dismissals, the usual.

I'm telling you this because he is the one watching me. Likely watching. His abilities allow him to watch through any pair of eyes in the vicinity and I'm one of his favored stations. Technically, I don't think he watches everything as it's happening, but he can also rifle through people's memories. You being my friend means he's likely targeted you in some capacity and may have some manner of dirt on you via your memory if it becomes necessary in his mind.

I'm sorry, Morrigan. There are a number of other things to discuss, but this might be the one of greatest consequence. Getting closer to me is inviting his potential interference. Distance will make it less likely, but the fact that I care about you... I've attempted to keep you out of things, to keep him from using you as leverage in our fights. I don't know if I can guarantee that if anything more happens between us.

[rosebyanyother]

....I've met him, yes.

[Though he hadn't known that he was connected to Jon at the time. After all of that, Peter's expression is very serious. Not concerned. necessarily. Actually, it's fairly level. But he appears to be considering what Jon is telling him and giving it the weight it deserves.

After a moment, he reaches out and picks up the shot of vodka, knocking back about half.]

That...is concerning. I don't want to be used as a weapon against you and...well. Not all my activities in Duplicity have been strictly legal. I haven't done anything in a while [...Except for his pickpocketing competition with Sally a couple months before but that is small change.] but even so.

[Peter isn't actually terribly worried for himself. He hasn't killed anyone - ...outside of a few times when he wouldn't be able to be punished for it anyway - and he has endured worse, he thinks, than what Duplicity could throw at him for the rest. It's Jon's behavior he'd be worried about.]

[compellingstatement]

[Jon's eyes widen in alarm.]

You've met- What did he do to you? What did he say? Did he try to hurt you?

[The words tumble out in a panic. He can get to the rest of it in a moment, but just in this second, terror grips his heart for... whatever Elias might have done. Even if it's unlikely the man's done anything at all.]

[rosebyanyother]

[Peter reaches across the desk to rest his hand on Jon's arm for a moment.]

Nothing. As far as I know, he did nothing. [He moves his hand, now, but leaves it resting on the desk between them.] I met him...months ago, now. He was looking for libraries and asked me to look up the directions to the nearest one on his comm when I told him I couldn't do it on my own because I'd left it at home. All in all, the conversation lasted about 5 minutes.

I haven't seen or heard from him since.

[compellingstatement]

[It doesn't assuage Jon much. He can still feel his heart thumping rapidly in his chest, and he stares at Peter with a white-eyed terror that he likely hasn't seen since the confrontation with Cullen. But Jon takes a few deep breaths. Nothing happened. Nothing happened.]

He was toying with you. Elias wouldn't need directions like that.

[Jon reaches for the bottle of vodka and pours himself another healthy measure to knock back in one searing gulp.]

I'm sorry. I... I don't want you to be hurt. He- Elias can torture people. It's not just blackmail. If they get in his way... he has the ability to transfer memories from one person to another. To give them a full sensory experience. He's used it to torture my staff with the deaths of their loved ones, other horrible things they weren't there to see. It would only happen if you became a threat, though.

Just try to stay away from him, please?

[Jon reaches out to grasp Peter's hand.]

[rosebyanyother]

I promise I have no intention of going looking for him.

[Well. Now he doesn't, certainly.

Peter didn't look concerned before, but he certainly does now. Though perhaps he's also.....morbidly touched. Jon looks so terrified and it is...it can only be on his behalf.

...Though on the subject of morbidity...he now also wonders just what Elias would use to hurt him with. Whose memories he might possibly use. Mag, maybe. Juno's thoughts as he left that night? There have been so few people that Peter has allowed close enough to hurt him.]

[compellingstatement]

[It's something of a relief to hear that and know that Peter is many things, and practical is one of them. Staying away from a potential threat is the only sensible thing to do. Jon reaches out with his other hand, now holding Peter between his own and staring down at that point of connection. He begins to knead the other man's hand to sooth his own nerves.]

Thank you. I suppose the question is do you want anything with me, knowing that? Elias will be a threat as long as he's here. He created me, the Archivist, and so he thinks I belong to him. I don't, obviously, but he... can command me to a certain extent. It's just to physically call me to him, though. He can't affect my mind any other way.

He can't make me hurt you.

[rosebyanyother]

[Peter glances down at their hands too, once Jon has taken his and started to massage it.]

I'm not scared of you hurting me. [That...is maybe a bit of a lie but it's the truth too. He isn't scared of Jon hurting him like that. There are other fears he has. They have nothing to do with Elias or his influence.] But...I meant what I said. I don't want to be-

[But that isn't precisely what he means, is it? Or at least, when Peter goes to restate it, he realizes how his words could be mistaken.]

If it came to it, I wouldn't want you to let him use me as a weapon against you. I don't particularly relish the idea of accepting the consequences for my actions...but it's preferable to the alternative.

[The idea of being used to make Jon do something he doesn't want to do.]

[compellingstatement]

I- I can't promise that, Morrigan. You're important to me. You're already important to me. You're my friend. I never had many of those. And now I'm here and I have more than I know what to do with and all of you are always in danger because of me. I play it out in my mind sometimes, what I'd do. What I could do if he went after you or Martin or Alessandro or...

I don't know that I could do anything. I'm not... clever like you or Martin. I'm not an idiot, but Elias is on another level. He's playing 4-Dimensional Chess and I'm stuck at 2 dimensions. I don't know what game he's actually playing here and that's- it scares me. I don't know what he wants. He already used me to end our world.

[He's... mentioned that to Peter, hasn't he?]

I don't know what else he wants, but he won't let me go. And I'm so scared for all of you... all the time.

[rosebyanyother]

[....He has not made any mention of an apocalypse to Peter, no. But that seems like - oddly enough - the least important part of all that information to address.

Peter does understand when Jon says he can't promise not to let Elias use him as blackmail material. He understands that it is a tough ask for certain people. The type determined to do or be good. (He doesn't think Juno would have agreed either.) And even though he is...concerned about the idea of being used to keep Jon in line, it is very hard to let go of this budding...relationship. Whatever it is or might become. He should be stronger and turn away but then there are certain things Peter has never had the strongest willpower for.]

That...sounds like an extremely exhausting position to be put in. [If he can, Peter attempts to intertwine his fingers with one of Jon's hands] And I can only speak for myself, but...

Knowing and acknowledging that danger is my choice. Because yes, I do still want to pursue this. Whatever it turns out to be. I won't make you promise but I hope that if it does come to it...well. That you'd at least tell me and allow me the choice of taking on those consequences.