I'll tell you. [He's been trying to get better about being open, communicative. It's difficult. Talking about feelings is always a challenge. This conversation is brought to Peter by a good deal of alcohol. Jon lets their fingers intertwine and lifts the other man's hand up. He starts to lean in to kiss his fingers, panics a bit with there being other bad things and just ends up lowering it down to the desk again.]
There's- there are other things. It's not just that. Things you should know. About me. About what the Archivist is.
[He draws in a breath and rubs his thumb along Peter's hand.]
You've... seen what I am. A monster. That's not just- It's what I am. Now. The Archivist is an avatar of the Beholding, a creature designed to inflict terror on its victims and feed on their suffering. Perpetually.
I've been- god, I've tried to be so careful with you. I Know< you have a Statement. I can taste it on my tongue any time you're around. Miasma. I want to know more, I want to- there is a part of me that wants to rip it out of you and feast on it, on you. Your horror.
It wouldn't end there, either. You'd have nightmares... for the rest of your life. Reliving... whatever that name is connected to and I was would be there watching. I don't dream, Morrigan. Not anymore. The Beholding's realm is dreams. And so... the Archivist walks. I visit my victims every night and I watch them suffer. Some of them see me, some of them don't. But they can feel me. Someone who is there simply to watch them suffer. I can't hurt them or help them beyond that. I just watch.
But it's why you must never give me a verbal Statement. And you need to know I've done horrible things to people. I do horrible things to them every night and it's not fair... but it's what the Archivist is. What I am.
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Date: 2020-06-30 05:06 am (UTC)There's- there are other things. It's not just that. Things you should know. About me. About what the Archivist is.
[He draws in a breath and rubs his thumb along Peter's hand.]
You've... seen what I am. A monster. That's not just- It's what I am. Now. The Archivist is an avatar of the Beholding, a creature designed to inflict terror on its victims and feed on their suffering. Perpetually.
I've been- god, I've tried to be so careful with you. I Know< you have a Statement. I can taste it on my tongue any time you're around. Miasma. I want to know more, I want to- there is a part of me that wants to rip it out of you and feast on it, on you. Your horror.
It wouldn't end there, either. You'd have nightmares... for the rest of your life. Reliving... whatever that name is connected to and I was would be there watching. I don't dream, Morrigan. Not anymore. The Beholding's realm is dreams. And so... the Archivist walks. I visit my victims every night and I watch them suffer. Some of them see me, some of them don't. But they can feel me. Someone who is there simply to watch them suffer. I can't hurt them or help them beyond that. I just watch.
But it's why you must never give me a verbal Statement. And you need to know I've done horrible things to people. I do horrible things to them every night and it's not fair... but it's what the Archivist is. What I am.