"I'm sorry," he swallows, his voice heavy and hoarse even for stemming the tears much sooner than he could have - probably should have, given he still feels them threatening to fall - but he hates crying and this feels like so much further than he should be taking Morrigan's kindness. It makes him feel like a burden and airing strife with his other relationships to another partner feels like a trespass.
But he wants to share, at least. He wants each of his loves to know what's going on with him when it matters, just as he wants to know about all of their lives. Love is a large part of that, at least for him, and so hiding it all also feels wrong. Except, maybe, he'd preferred to have done when he was past this. Past the part where he has to process and be angry and sad and all the things that should be dealt with privately, as he was taught.
He should be fine. He's the eldest, he's the Champion, he's weathered worse and come through stronger. Or so he's been told.
It doesn't feel like it.
"It doesn't matter how many times I've lost people, it never gets any easier."
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Date: 2023-07-21 05:33 pm (UTC)But he wants to share, at least. He wants each of his loves to know what's going on with him when it matters, just as he wants to know about all of their lives. Love is a large part of that, at least for him, and so hiding it all also feels wrong. Except, maybe, he'd preferred to have done when he was past this. Past the part where he has to process and be angry and sad and all the things that should be dealt with privately, as he was taught.
He should be fine. He's the eldest, he's the Champion, he's weathered worse and come through stronger. Or so he's been told.
It doesn't feel like it.
"It doesn't matter how many times I've lost people, it never gets any easier."