&quot;Morrigan Prince&quot; (Peter Nureyev)

I'm not sure my answer is all that healthy, honestly.

I try not to think about their leaving. I usually succeed. Mostly.

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I've been doing that that seems fair and wise cause what can you do? It's not like you can protect them from harm and it keeps them from vanishing,

what do you do if they're already gone?

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I care if it's at you. He has a right to be angry but he doesn't have the right to make other people feel bad about it.

If it were up to me, you wouldn't need to apologize, but I will accept your apology. As for recompense....come over to my apartment for an evening soon. Bring a bottle of wine. I think that's recompense enough.

[He won't even really drink much of whatever she does bring, but it works.]

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I'm fine. He had a point that I agree with, and better he vent at me than at Wolfe.

[...dreams, no.] Unless he already did.

Wine I can do. I'm off work Monday and Tuesday evenings, if that's best for you, but I can find time in the middle of the day as well. Pick a time sometime next week and it's yours. I'll arrange my schedule around it.

[And then she can get the damn city off her back and be done with this. Dreams that will be a relief.]

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Mostly I try to busy myself with the people I still have.

Though I admit, I used to be more proactive about trying to replace people who had left. Or maybe replace isn't the right word. I used to be proactive about making sure my pool of friends didn't shrink. I'm not as good about it now.

Is this about Martin or about someone else?

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They had a brief and not entirely friendly exchange of words on the subject.

I'm free Monday evenings as well, let's do that.

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[He phrases it thus and she knows immediately Wolfe was chastised more than her. Dreams, he didn't deserve that.]

You're holding back to save my feelings, and I advise you not do so again. I'll be more protective and upset if I'm not given full truths.

Wonderful. Monday night it is. Send me your address and a time I should be over, and I'll be there.

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Ah. Were I more naturally social, that wouldn't be so terrible a thought.
Busy myself with those I have is
Yes, that's helping.

Martin almost four weeks ago, Caleb Danvers and Jacob Frye a week ago.
I know it's foolish to be afraid they're sending my boyfriends away, but three in a month is hard.

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That wasn't my intention.

[And, alright, Amelia gave him the full truth of what Juno said to her, he'll do the same.]

Juno was angry with Adalwolfe for wanting to apologize to me during my punishment, he was angry that Adalwolfe wasn't being confined for his own punishment (though he didn't know how he was being punished yet), and apparently he was angry because likes him anyway.
The argument lasted for maybe a minute and a half before Juno gave way.

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[Perhaps it could have been worse, but this is bad enough in her mind. Amelia sighs and stares out between the bars of her cage for a long moment before answering. Even then, she keeps her emotions out of it. Mostly.]

A complicated situation. I'm glad Juno stood down when he did, but again, if he needs a target, send him to me. As soon as I'm free, I'll give back as good as I get.

I hope the rest of your punishment was less eventful than that.

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I can handle Juno's anger.

[Translation: He will not be sending Juno her way, thank you.]

It was largely uneventful. Between Juno and Jon standing guard, there were only a few souls brave enough to engage with me at all. And none of them were stupid enough to try anything humiliating.

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[She can't force him to send Juno, but she still thinks it's ridiculous. Why will no one here let her help in this way when she's more than capable of handling it?]

I'm glad the crowds were deterred from their efforts. Even more, I'm glad the SIN guards didn't force them off. One of us having an easier go of it is better than none.

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You certainly do a good job of hiding the fact that you aren't. Naturally social, I mean.

And yes, I can see why you would think that. I doubt it's TRUE but....goodness. Three in a month is something.
I'm so sorry, Chris. One loss would be more than enough.

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[He'd feel guilty about being the least affected...but he knows neither Hawke or Amelia really wants that.

And guilt isn't a feeling he often feels anyway.]

I'm a bit surprised as well, but I certainly didn't question it.

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I'll take it. [Because it's something to come out of all this shit.]

If you're well and safe, I'll leave you to it. Take care of yourself, Morrigan, and don't let Juno go too hard on you. This isn't something any of us should bear alone.

We'll see each other in a few days for that drink. Be well until then.

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Part of the job of being a king, lovely. Don't have much choice.
But thank you.

And for that. It's
I think I should be doing better than I am. I know how I should handle death and loss, but this feels different.

At least if I'm next, I know those two I have left will be well looked after by you. It's a balm.

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Take care of yourself as well. Or at least let someone else do it.

I'll see you soon.

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fanoperator

Party Log

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Is there really a way you SHOULD handle grief? I'm not sure I believe that.

And I hope it doesn't come to that, but you're certainly right there. Jon especially.

[Hawke has Amelia to look after him. Not that he won't need more people, potentially. But he won't need Peter quite as much as Jon would.]

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Perhaps not.

[He's still not sure a Death Cleric shouldn't be better at handling loss and grief, but it's not something he's willing to push on, either.]

I hope it doesn't either. There's a number of people I would be much less for not remembering.
Including you. Thank you for talking with me on this, I know it isn't a pleasant topic.

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I'm happy to, depressing subject or not. You mean something to me as well.

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wolfehawke

[ Hawke told Jon he'd message Morrigan but it's easier said than done. He doesn't want to have to tell someone else about this, have to explain what's happened, but if he doesn't then Jon will do it for him and if there's something Hawke absolutely can't stand right now it's anyone wresting away what little control he has left. ]

Do you have some time?

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Of course. What is it?

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wolfehawke

I'll tell you in person.
Can you come by the Cat House?

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